LEARNING TO LOVE MY KINKS

I was born in Butterworth and raised by a single mother. My dad made special appearances. haha. The reason I mention them together here is because they both loved their natural hair and wore their afros with pride. I do not remember my mother having relaxed hair. She loved a classic ladies cut which was always combed to perfection. I never saw kinks in it though, meaning it was maybe relaxed or blown out. My dad loved his afro but his was also quite straight due to the dryness. He now uses Love Kinks so his hair is juicier than ever. 

Growing up, my dad would actually often ask my younger sister and I to "quqa" him. This involved a small tooth comb used to scratch his scalp lifting all the dry skin or built up sebum which we called "inkwethu". I wore my hair like my dad most of my childhood and finally joined the creamy crack crew in primary school. My hair was relaxed later than others so it was not as thin and "silky". I was heavily teased for that and I was called "lion". It hurt me deeply as the more kinky your hair was the more stubborn it was which meant you were just not cool enough. Looking back, I am really grateful for the late introduction to relaxers as my hair is not as damaged and thinned out as most of my family and friend that started earlier. Another hair late bloom moment I love is that my dad did not allow any sort of extensions so I got my hair braided when I visited my mom only. My mom passed when I was in grade 11 meaning I could only get braids and. weaves in my hair in varsity years later. As a result I completely missed the yaki and soft dread phase of life. This braiding restriction has resulted in less damage from tension during my younger years. In hindsight, I am so grateful. 

I wore my hair relaxed but as the years went by, it started thinning like the rest of my friends and family. My sister, Andiswa came up with a great plan, she started buying relaxer and relaxing us at home so that our hair would not be over processed. I then took on this practice and bought my own relaxer and relaxed my own hair in my res room in varsity. People thought I was insane. This resulted in less thinning due to no over processing. I would keep the relaxer in just enough to get a straight look but never cared for the super relaxed look. I was never happy with my relaxed hair as I never found a moisturiser or scalp "baser" that really addressed my concerns. My hair broke daily and the floor would be filled with strands of broken hair. The main concerns were dandruff, breakage, dry scalp and over moisturised hair resulting in a wet hair look. 

I wore my hair out and did not depend on braids and wigs as they were discouraged at home. I did wear them every now and then though and felt like I fit in more with my friends in those years. The Solange Knowles revolution was undeniably powerful as it made us fully migrate from twists to box braids till this day. Box braids were by far better for our hair. 

Fast forward to 2015 when I cut my hair and went natural. My big cut was inspired by my sister in law, she looked amazing in her afro. I have been natural ever since and I have enjoyed this hair more than any other phase. I struggled to find hair products that worked for years. Through the search, I started talking about the struggle on my social media and gained a large following of women who were seeking to solve the same issues. I partnered with multiple brands. Out of all the brands I partnered with, 2 made a lasting impression as they got it almost right. They all seemed to not have a solution for hydration and hair damage from braids. Some had satin and silk pillowcases but none of them were high quality. I decided to start Love Kinks in 2017 to better inform people on what our hair needs. I introduced high quality satin pillowcases (2019), doeks (2020), hair ties (2022) and bonnets (2022) which were a huge hit. I went on to sell satin pillowcases and doeks for over a million rand in one month. That was 6 months after I left my 9-5. This was a sign that I was on the right track. I was addressing an important issue. In 2022 I introduced 3 premium hair care products that treat damaged natural hair and make hair manageable. In 2023 I launched my favourite product, the Spritz which is the only product I have ever used that really answers the hydration enigma that has eluded many brands for years. 

I had great difficulty learning to love my face with my kinky hair but I stayed committed. I went from wearing various head gear to hide the kinky hair to braiding often and constantly stretching the hair to finally just wearing my hair as it is. I have not stretched my hair overnight in the last few years as the kinky shrunken hair is who I am and I truly finally love myself and my hair the way it is.